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Do not betray your values to indulge self-absorbed clients.

I was waiting for a train when I ran into a big celebrity. We’ve known each other for years. When I was a reporter who covered his comings and goings, he gushed at my presence. When I ran for political office he contributed to my campaign and even called on occasion. When I wrote a book, he was happy to be quoted and see his name in print. Yet recently when I walked up to him with a big hello and outstretched hand, he barely acknowledged me saying “oh hi, nice to see you” and then quickly walked away.

At first I was surprised. Surprise turned to annoyed. Annoyed turned to insulted. Then I realized caring at all was a waste of energy. Most of us have come across people like this. They welcome you with open arms when they think you are in a position to help or possibly hurt them. When you no longer hold those cards, they discard you like a used tissue. Their former smiles, grandiose gestures and attentiveness were never sincere to begin with. [Read more…] about Don’t betray your values to indulge self-absorbed clients

I had a new business appointment with a former client I hadn’t seen in more than 10 years. He said to take the elevator to his floor and call him when I got there. So I did, only he didn’t answer. I tried to follow the instructions at the lobby desk prompting me to dial different numbers for help getting in, but the system was down. Hmm. I had arrived early but was now concerned about running late When I peered through the door and saw my client walking down the hall. So I waved. He waved back and rushed my way to open the door.

“Hi, he said. It’s nice to see you”. “Same to you” I answered back. Then I gave him a hug and he hugged me back. Following him through the door and down the long hallway, we chatted a bit on the way to his office. Then we stopped. He looked at me. I took a closer look at him. Suddenly he said “how do I know you?” That was when I realized I didn’t know him at all. I had just hugged a total stranger who I thought I knew because he looked like a guy with hair I remembered from 10 years ago. [Read more…] about Making small talk reap big benefits

A client of ours has started a new initiative but is struggling to get anyone to sign up. I asked what the initiative is about and was told it’s a savings model that benefits members if they meet certain quality and cost metrics. What do they save, I inquired. Well, they don’t really save anything I was told but they can reduce costs for their customers.

That sounds good I offered, but how does it work? Well, they explained, they go to a website, sign up and receive a free membership. What does the membership get them I asked to which the reply was “what do you mean?” [Read more…] about ‘Dumb’ is not a nice word

My mother and I have ongoing battles with our scales. In her case, sometimes she doesn’t like what it says. She fiddles with it, adjusts how she places her feet, changes batteries and gets on and off it several times determined to find her desired weight. When she gets totally disgusted with the scale, she returns it to the store and purchases a new one because the extra pounds are clearly the fault of the scale.

Come to think of it, my mother’s mother had scale issues too. She simply said it was wrong and got off. My scale can also be off sometimes. However, I find if I move it slightly to the left or to the right, I can actually shave off a half pound and on a good day if I center it just right, I can even lose a full pound. So when my scale says I’ve gained a few, I am confident the real problem is its location on my bathroom floor. Or, perhaps it’s simply a genetic trait inherited from my mother’s side of the family. [Read more…] about Sifting the bad little white lies from the good ones