Karen Friedman Enterprises

Creating compelling communicators.

You are here: Home / Archives for Karen Friedman

Karen Friedman

by on Leave a Comment

What business communicators can learn from tour guides

On a recent vacation, my husband and I took a few tours to learn more about the history and culture of the land. The difference between an exceptional tour guide and a mediocre tour guide was immediately clear. The mediocre guides were knowledgeable and provided interesting information, dates, facts, and statistics. The exceptional guides were also well versed, but weaved stories and anecdotes into their narratives making it more engaging, memorable, and kept our attention.

Think about great teachers or speakers you remember. Like a notable tour guide, you may recall a few statistics they shared, but you probably remember them because of the stories they told. Like great tour guides who work on crafting and sharing interesting stories, storytelling is also a powerful tool in business for many reasons.

  1. Connection
    • Stories create an emotional connection between speakers and listeners which helps build relationships with customers, employees, and prospects.
  2. Memorable
    • Stories provide context and make sense of complex ideas which is why people remember stories more than they recall data and facts.
  3. Engaging
    • Whether delivering a presentation, marketing campaign or trying to convey your point of view, sharing stories and anecdotes that support facts and information engages audiences and captures attention.
  4. Differentiation
    • Years ago, I attended a medical presentation where five liver surgeons had to explain a difficult procedure. Thinking the first four were bland and boring, I tuned out but blamed it on my lack of subject comprehension. Yet the fifth speaker hooked me instantly. Sharing pictures, videos, and brief stories about patient procedures, he simplified technical information and made it understandable.
  5. Trust
    • Business relationships are built on trust. Sharing stories that include lessons learned from mistakes and vulnerabilities demonstrate transparency and authenticity which can lead to loyalty as people become more vested in your message.

Yet, often when I suggest speakers incorporate storytelling into their communications, many push back, claiming it’s not their strength or they don’t have time. I disagree. No matter who you are, you are a storyteller. You have been sharing stories since you were born on the playground, after summer vacations and at home with your family.

Look no further than You Tube, TikTok, or Facebook to understand how stories have transformed the way we communicate today. Content that includes videos, pictures and music allow companies to connect emotionally which fuels everything from buying habits to political opinions to the way you wear your hair. Like an old-fashioned story that keeps listeners on the edge of their seats, the way you tell your story will shape outcomes.

As in any profession, becoming an effective storyteller takes practice. That became even more evident to me this holiday season when my friends and I took a unique walking tour (amazingnycwalks.com) in New York’s Greenwich Village. Here are a few qualities you can employ at work that made the tour guide an effective storyteller.

  1. Enthusiasm
    • The guide’s genuine enthusiasm for his subject was contagious inspiring questions and curiosity from the tour group.
  2. Adaptable
    • Being able to articulate thoughts clearly is essential. Being able to adapt your style to the different levels of audience understanding helps everyone follow the story.
  3. Creativity
    • From time to time, this tour guide would pull out his phone and show us pictures of what important buildings looked like in years past. This provided context and brought his stories to life.
  4. Structure
    • Crafting a well-structured story with a clear beginning, middle and end is essential when delivering any kind of speech or presentation. It will make you easier to follow
  5. Presence
    • Good eye contact, expressive body language and a strong stage presence can transform a dull presentation or tour into a more captivating experience for others.

In summary, storytelling in business is not just about entertaining listeners. It’s a strategic tool that helps businesses communicate value and connect with people on a more human level. Those are the presentations and tours we remember.

FacebooktwitterlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwitterlinkedinrssyoutube

by on Leave a Comment

Be a leader who listens and doesn’t try to silence others

I recently read a quote by Pastor Andy Stanley of North Pointe Ministries in Georgia. He said: “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say”.

That made me think about something that happened this month. A leader I work with asked me to listen to a webinar presented by a young inexperienced new hire and provide candid feedback.

In short, this is what I said:

It’s often difficult to have technical person communicate complex information in a way that is engaging and interesting as this is not their expertise and takes practice. Like many she read the script word for word and plowed through the slides without providing context, so she was difficult to follow. She needs to learn how to project a bit more, sound more engaged and pause so she sounds like she’s conversing and not reading. The best way you can help her is to have her practice with the script to internalize the information, then have her do it without the script or with just a few bullet points and record her so she can hear the difference. The more she does it, the more confident she will become.

His response surprised me. He said he thought she did a great job and “delivering the presentation in an engaging and interesting manner” was not the priority as long as she communicated in a factual way. He defensively disagreed with my feedback and told me her presentation was very well received. A little confused, I asked him what it was he wanted from me that perhaps I didn’t provide or if he just wanted me to agree with him. He didn’t respond.

When leaders ask for feedback but don’t seem to really want it, they can come across as insincere. Sometimes, they ask for feedback so they can appear open and approachable to their team or subordinates. Others may be seeking validation rather than genuinely wanting to improve or make changes, which I suspect was the issue here. In other situations, I’ve observed leaders request feedback as a formality to check the box without any intention of using constructive criticism to drive change.

To ask for feedback without a genuine commitment to listening, learning, and driving change can have negative consequences across entire organizations. Reducing employee engagement, eroding trust and dampening morale are just a few. Becoming a leader who genuinely listens to others and encourages open communication is crucial to fostering a healthy and productive work environment. Here are a few things you can do to become that type of leader.

  1. Make others feel safe. Let people know their opinions and ideas are welcome without negative consequences.
  2. Listen more. Talk less. When someone is speaking, avoid interrupting and disagreeing. If you do disagree, make them feel heard by asking open ended questions such as “why do you think that” or ‘how will what you’re suggesting help us improve”?
  3. Be approachable. I used to have a boss who said his door was always open. The truth is it was only open to a select few, which made many of us feel that he was not interested in our thoughts or concerns.
  4. Be empathetic. If you want to build rapport and connect with your team members, then try to sit in their seats to better understand their viewpoints.
  5. Dump the defense. When you receive feedback or hear opinions that challenge your beliefs, try to be objective and use the feedback as an opportunity for personal and professional growth.

Not wanting to burn any bridges, I emailed the leader who didn’t respond to my question regarding if there was something he wanted me to provide that I didn’t. I said:

“I’m not trying to give you a hard time. You asked for candid feedback and I provided it. I’m not expecting her to become an amazing presenter overnight. I do believe if you help her with the things I pointed out, over time she will become more confident and commanding.”

He responded that his own observations would be helpful in coaching her to present technical information.

As Pastor Stanley said, “leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say”.

I have nothing more to say to this leader because he is clearly not interested in anyone’s voice but his own. I hope his employees feel differently.

FacebooktwitterlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwitterlinkedinrssyoutube

by on Leave a Comment

Why non-verbal communication must match verbal communication

Several days after Hamas attacked Israel, I turned on the TV and saw Republican Senator and Presidential candidate Tim Scott of South Carolina being interviewed on one of the morning shows. As the anchor discussed the horrific situation and loss of thousands of lives Scott was grinning from ear to ear. I was stunned. How can anyone smile in the face of such atrocities?

I realized that Scott was almost certainly not smiling at the sobering news, but rather was trying to appear pleasant and likeable for the TV audience. However, he likely came across differently than intended. When non-verbal communication doesn’t match what someone is saying, it can lead to various consequences including confusion, mistrust, and misunderstandings.

Sometimes these mismatched communications can be amusing and not as serious for those of us not running for President. For example, imagine someone nodding enthusiastically while emphatically saying “No”. The contradiction between the head movement and what they are actually saying might be amusing. Or think about a person who rolls their eyes while assuring someone they are excited about a mundane task. The non-verbal language sends a message that they are less than thrilled. Others may struggle to stifle laughter when delivering serious or sad news. It might be nervousness, but they can come across as inappropriate or awkward. Typically these examples are short-lived and harmless.

But what if you are a Presidential candidate, CEO, celebrity, or someone else in the limelight? Inconsistencies between verbal and non-verbal cues can leave listeners uncertain about someone’s true intentions or emotions. That leads to distrust and questions about the speaker’s authenticity and integrity. Here are a few notable examples:

  1. Richard Nixon: During the Watergate scandal, the 37th President of the United States exhibited defensive body language and perspired during news conferences which undermined his credibility.
  2. Lance Armstrong: Maintaining a very assertive tone, for years the cyclist strongly denied using performance enhancing drugs. However his non-verbal cues like fidgeting and avoiding direct eye contact during interviews raised suspicion. Eventually he admitted to doping.
  3. Bill Clinton: During the Monica Lewinsky scandal, former President Bil Clinton’s finger wagging denial of sexual relations with “that woman” seemed to contradict the evidence against him. It made his denial more memorable and perhaps unbelievable.
  4. Marion Barry: The former mayor of Washington, D.C. was caught on tape during a drug sting saying he was set up. When confronted, his non-verbal cues demonstrated a lack of remorse and sincerity.
  5. Britney Spears: In numerous interviews over the years, Spears often spoke positively about her life, but her non-verbal language such as nervous laughter has raised questions about the reality of her words.

You don’t have to be famous to experience how non-verbal cues can sometimes reveal inconsistencies with spoken words. In politics, business, sports, entertainment, or any industry, they should serve as reminders that when the two don’t match, they can be telling indicators of someone’s true thoughts and emotions even if they attempt to say otherwise.

A few years ago, I was preparing a spokesperson for a media interview. They were sharp, on message and articulate. Yet, when we played back the tape, we both noticed that this person was frequently raising their eyebrows while speaking. Instead of signaling interest or curiosity as raised eyebrows can do, in this case the raised eyebrows seemed to express uncertainty and confusion. The unintended communication was hard to overcome, but this individual did so through continued videotaping and playback to create more awareness.

In some cases, people may intentionally or unintentionally mask their true feelings through body language and facial expressions that don’t match what they are saying. If these contradictions persist, they can lead to a breakdown in communication. That leaves listeners frustrated, disengaged or uninterested in both listening and continuing a conversation.

That’s why it’s essential to encourage people to recognize and understand their own non-verbal cues and the potential impact on others.

FacebooktwitterlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwitterlinkedinrssyoutube