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by karen friedman on September 10, 2024 Leave a Comment

When Appliances Die at the Worst Possible Times and How Companies can Benefit

Our air conditioner broke this week. It was a muggy Saturday night when we had friends visiting in the middle of a heat wave. It seems like appliances have an uncanny knack for dying at the worst possible times. Years back, our garbage disposal conked out hours before family arrived for Thanksgiving dinner. When our refrigerator dropped dead and the freezer transformed into a lukewarm pond, it was a holiday weekend, and we had a house full of company.

Why is it that appliances never seem to break down when you have free time and no commitments? My card playing friends who have answers to the world’s most pressing questions suggest that every appliance comes with a hidden timing chip programmed to detect moments of maximum inconvenience. The chip sends a signal to the appliance’s brain, triggering a meltdown at the most inopportune time.

But back to my air conditioner. We called our HVAC (heating, ventilation, and air conditioning) company to come fix it and they came right out for an additional after-hours weekend service fee. Bad news. It could not be fixed and because my friends say these appliances detect maximum inconvenience, the appliances must have known that our warranty had just expired. We had to get both a new heating and air conditioning unit which cost a bunch of zeros, but parts had to be ordered and it would take a day or two.

So, with an already overheated 100-pound dog, our son and pregnant daughter-in-law staying for the weekend, we muddled through the heat with open windows and fans to circulate the sweltering air. Friends offered beds in their air-conditioned homes, but all of us declined. And I did a personal reality check reminding myself that most of the world doesn’t have air conditioning or fans and some don’t even have windows that open. This too would pass.

Two days later, it did or so I thought. A truckload of mechanics descended on the house to pull out the old system and put in a new one and once again the house was cool. Until about two in the morning that is. It seemed a little warm and the compressor sounded awfully loud which is when my husband noticed that the thermostat was going up, not down. We called and the repair people returned. Diagnosis: the new system wasn’t working either. They didn’t know what was wrong with it and they would have to order another one.

They apologized for the inconvenience and offered to temporarily install window units to give us some relief when we slept. They said they’d work on it as quickly as possible.

My friends seemed very concerned about our predicament and a few proposed that I give the HVAC company a ‘piece of my mind for screwing up.’ However, despite our inconvenience and perhaps an installation mistake on their end, the company did the right thing.

Through each step of the process, they called and communicated what was happening and the time frame in which we could expect things. They apologized and they offered a short-term solution until they could fix the problem. They acted quickly and took responsibility saying this was their issue when I worried there could be a bigger electrical problem. Companies that prioritize doing the right thing for customers is crucial for several reasons:

1. Building Trust

Trust is the cornerstone of any successful business relationship. When customers believe that a company consistently acts in their best interests, they are more likely to trust the company.

2. Transparency

Being open about business practices, and problem-solving approaches fosters trust. Customers who feel valued are more likely to return for future purchases.

3. Positive Public Image

Companies that consistently do right by their customers build a positive reputation, which can attract new customers. And customers are more likely to forgive occasional missteps if they believe the company is acting ethically.

And let’s face it: appliances have a tough life. The microwave is zapping leftovers multiple times a day, the dishwasher is handling our mess with little complaint, and the washing machine is in a constant battle with our smelly gym clothes. I understand why they sometimes crack under pressure.

Like me, on the verge of retirement, I wonder if appliances might also have a retirement plan, and they choose to retire at the moment of peak chaos to ensure they are missed the most. This way, their memory lives on as your family will forever reminisce about the time the washing machine decided to flood the laundry room on Christmas Eve.

While we may never know the true reasons behind these inconvenient appliance deaths, one thing is certain: they add a touch of unpredictability to our lives. The companies that recognize our anxiety, act with urgency, and prioritize our satisfaction are better positioned to build lasting relationships and customer trust.

The next time your refrigerator dies the night after a big grocery haul or your water heater gives out during a winter storm, just remember that you’re not alone. Embrace the chaos, laugh at the absurdity, and keep a good sense of humor handy.

by karen friedman on June 30, 2024 Leave a Comment

How digital communications has eroded good manners

The speed limit was 50 miles per hour. I was driving 52 miles per hour on a two-lane road that passed through a local community. There were two sets of double yellow lines in between the lanes which means you cannot drive on or over them to pass another driver. As I looked in my rear-view mirror, I saw the car behind me inching up on my bumper, as if she were about to hit me. I sped up just a little. So did she. Then she started honking at me. I realized she wanted me to go faster, but I was already over the speed limit and not about to speed up even more. So she blared her horn again and this time, illegally sped past me into the oncoming traffic lane, ignoring the double yellow lines.

I silently wondered what was wrong with her, but it’s not just her. So many people seem so angry and annoyed that they are willing to break rules, ignore laws and treat others with a total lack of respect. I understand many factors contribute to why people disregard rules. Economic stress, social injustice, psychological factors, cultural factors, personal grievances and more. However, I believe what we are witnessing is the dwindling of practicing good manners and common courtesy to others.

When I was growing up, my parents and teachers expected good manners and did not tolerate bad ones. Yet today, manners seem to be increasingly neglected. Phrases like “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “I’m sorry” were standard in everyday communication, reflecting a society that valued politeness and consideration for others. I don’t hear those polite phrases as much as I used to.

Perhaps the rise of digital communication has altered the way we interact. While the advent of digital communication has revolutionized the way and the speed in which we connect with each other, it has also brought about changes in our social behaviors.

Emails, texts, and social media are often impersonal. They lack tone and emotion and can be easily misunderstood. For example, several months ago, I sent a short email to a colleague suggesting she consider a different approach to solving a problem. She called to ask if I was upset with her. I wasn’t, but what I thought was a short constructive comment was completely misunderstood in an email and I should have called her instead of emailing. When we spoke by phone, she instantly understood what I was trying to communicate. Vocal tones can capture emotional nuances that emails and texts cannot.

While digital platforms encourage rapid response, the immediacy of texting and instant messaging can also lead to abrupt and sometimes insensitive exchanges. In voice-to- voice and face-to-face conversations, pauses and quiet listening are part of a respectful dialogue. Additionally, abbreviations and emojis which replace full sentences and nuanced language, can come across as dismissive or rude, especially in professional or more formal contexts.

Then there are our cell phones. How often have you been with someone who seems to ignore you in favor of their phone? They tell you they are listening to you, but don’t look at you because they are deeply engaged with their phone. I admit, I have been guilty of this too. Just yesterday, I ran into an acquaintance who was sitting next to me at a nail salon. As we started speaking, she never looked up from her phone. She was unable to make eye contact, observe facial expressions and non-verbal language that enhances communication and understanding each other. When she left, she said “it was great seeing you,” but she never really saw me. What I saw was someone who was rude and disrespectful. In other circumstances, her behavior may have even been hurtful.

In some situations, there is also reduced accountability. Anonymity offered by online platforms can embolden people to say things they might never say in person. When interacting online, people sometimes forget they are communicating with real people. That can result in a lack of empathy and disregard for the feelings of others.

I do suspect that younger generations who have grown up with digital communication may have different perceptions of what constitutes polite behavior. That can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts with older generations who value traditional manners. Addressing this requires effort from all involved: families, educational institutions, and workplaces. All have a responsibility to model good digital manners and set clear guidelines for respectful online behavior.

While the decline in manners is a complex issue with many contributing factors, it is something that can be changed. By prioritizing education and awareness, we can resume the practice of good manners and enhance the quality of our social interactions.

by karen friedman on May 31, 2024 Leave a Comment

What lost socks can teach you about effective communication

Like me, I’m sure your socks go missing. Two go into the dryer, but only one comes out. Where do they go? Currently, I have nine single unmatched socks in my sock drawer. Some have been there for years. I save them, hoping that one day their mates will return. I could blame it on the dog, but we don’t have a dog anymore. Trying to find these missing socks is like trying to find Waldo in the Finding Waldo children’s books. Where in the world are my socks?

This small domestic mystery actually highlights a much larger issue we all face: the importance of clear communication. Misplaced socks and lost messages share a common thread. When we don’t keep track of our interactions, much like our socks, crucial pieces can easily go missing.

According to a study commissioned by Samsung when they launched a new washing machine several years ago, Brits lose an average of 1.3 socks each month, which equals more than 15 lost socks every year. With the average Brit reportedly living to 81, scientists determined Brits lose 1,264 socks over their lifetime, costing them 2,528 pounds, which equals approximately $3,100 dollars. They concluded that about 84 million socks go missing in the UK each month.

Wanting to further understand this laundry mystery, I turned to the internet for help. I learned that during a wash cycle, socks can creep into the yawning abysses of the laundry drum. I looked. There are no socks in any abysses. I also discovered the heat and rotations can separate clothes, causing socks and small items to disappear into the wastewater hose. I can’t see into my wastewater hose, but I did look behind the hose. No socks. They are not under the bed, rolled up with other socks, in the wrong drawer, mixed up with the cleaning rags, or stuck in a shoe.

So, I asked my son, who is a creative thinker. He blamed it on the sock gnomes, smaller mythical creatures who can move through solid earth and steal socks to make your life inconvenient. Probably a long shot, but I have no better explanation.

Apparently, my curiosity about missing socks is shared with renowned theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking. In a book called The Nature of Space and Time, Hawking concluded that spontaneous black holes are responsible for their disappearance. Hmm. Perhaps my son’s theory isn’t too far off.

Maybe, just maybe, the unexplained missing sock mystery is somehow related to the Bermuda Triangle. For decades, just like my socks, ships, planes, and people have been sucked into this black hole, never to be seen again. There are dozens of theories about the disappearances, but like socks, no confirmed conclusions.

As I continue to research this daunting dilemma, I’ve discovered that colored socks make up the majority of missing socks. This actually makes sense to me. I don’t wear white socks, but my husband does. His socks never go missing or, since they’re all the same, he doesn’t notice. Perhaps I should start wearing whites.

Samsung’s work led them to develop a sock loss formula to help work out the probability of losing a sock in a single week by using statistical modeling software that involves a bunch of mathematical complications. I was never great in math, so my eyes glazed over when I looked at it.

Besides, this still doesn’t explain where my missing socks went.

Articles on the subject recommend attaching pairs of socks together with safety pins or sock clips to prevent them from disappearing. That sounds like too much trouble to me, though I guess it depends on how attached you are to certain socks. Other articles offer ways to repurpose single socks, such as using them for ice packs, dust rags, or covering golf club heads so they don’t get bumped or scratched when you are not playing.

I don’t want to repurpose my socks. I want to reunite them with their partners.

While this mystery continues to baffle me, I realize it has a lot to do with communication—or the lack thereof. Just like my missing socks, important messages and connections can get lost in the shuffle of daily life. Miscommunication can happen when messages slip through the cracks, much like how socks disappear in the laundry.

Clear communication, like keeping track of our socks, requires attention and care. Just as pairing socks before washing can prevent losses, ensuring we understand and convey messages properly can avoid misunderstandings. If we don’t pay attention, small items—whether socks or important conversations—can easily go missing.

I may never know where my socks go, but I think I’ve figured out a plausible way to find them. If I get rid of my single socks, their associates will return. It’s like losing a shoe or an earring. After waiting a while for the missing item to resurface, when it doesn’t, you assume it’s forever lost and discard it. Then, like magic, its match shows up.

If I do that, however, I’m right back where I started as an owner of a bunch of sad lone socks. Only this time, their matches will be gone forever.

So, let’s keep track of our socks and our conversations. Both are more valuable than we might realize, and losing either can lead to complications we’d rather avoid. Effective communication can prevent misunderstandings and lost connections, just as keeping an eye on our socks can prevent their mysterious disappearance.

by Karen Friedman on May 5, 2024 Leave a Comment

How to Bridge Linguistic Divides without Translators.

On a business trip to Cartagena Columbia, I met a lovely woman named Susan. Susan spoke fluent Spanish, but not English. Since I speak English and not Spanish, we were fortunate to have a translator to help us converse.

One evening, Susan, the translator, another colleague, and I went to dinner. Together we were having very lively animated conversations thanks to the interpretation of the translator. Then midway into our evening, I realized something had changed. Without the help of the translator, I understood Susan and she understood me. How could this be when we don’t speak the same language?

The obvious is that non-verbal communication such as gestures, facial expressions and body movements can convey a wealth of information beyond words. A smile, nod or raised brow may signal confusion, happiness, or agreement. People often understand each other’s emotions, intentions, and basic messages through these non-verbal cues which enriches the interaction. But this was something more than that.

To paraphrase Wikipedia, this is called “mutual intelligibility” which is a relationship between languages or dialects in which speakers of different languages can understand each other without prior familiarity. An article published at fluentu.com, which is a foreign online language immersion site, further explores mutually intelligible languages. The author says foreign languages aren’t always as foreign as you expect. For example, if you speak Russian, you may understand more Ukrainian than you realized. German is considered partially mutually intelligible or similar to Yiddish and Dutch.

Even so, I think the understanding between Susan and me may have had more to do with common interests and our willingness to try to understand each other. While translators offer incredible support bridging linguistic divides, being able to actively listen to verbal cues such as tone and inflection and converse without a translator highlights the adaptability of human communication and connection.

When faced with language barriers, people may naturally adapt their language and communication style to try and increase understanding. This may include using simple words and phrases to enhance clarity so others can grasp the message being conveyed. When Susan and I conversed, we may have done this without realizing it, but our professional backgrounds and common experiences enabled us to create an even stronger bond and connect across languages.

As a communications coach, I advise professionals of the importance of active listening and empathy when communicating with different audiences. These two components are also essential during cross-language communication. By demonstrating attentiveness, patience, and a genuine interest in trying to understand the other person, you can create strong connections.

Years back, I was part of a State Department delegation of women from diverse nations who traveled to a conference in Uruguay. Despite the language barrier, as we were seated together, attempts to communicate in native tongues proved difficult. People were actually yelling at each other in an effort foster understanding. There was a music box perched on a chair playing softly in the background when suddenly, a woman from Bolivia stepped into the center of the room and started swaying to the rhythm.

Mesmerized, one by one, as if compelled by an invisible force, every woman in attendance rose to join her, forming a circle and clasping hands. In that moment, language was no longer a barrier. Through music and movement, we became one, transcending cultures and united in a very profound wordless connection. It is a moment I will never forget.

While language differences can pose challenges, the power of shared experiences and human connection can transcend language and geography.