I am often asked if people should sit or stand when presenting remotely. The answer? It depends. Learn more in this video.
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How to deliver in a more polished and confident manner
The group of seasoned medical professionals were sent our way to improve their presentation and communication skills. We are fortunate to work with brilliant experts across many industries but being the smartest person in the room doesn’t always translate to good communication skills.
Most of the time, people who come to us want help. Like the skills they’ve worked so hard to develop in their chosen profession, they want to be the best they can be at everything they do. However, every now and then, someone in a group says they want help, but when asked, they can’t think of any areas of leadership communication skills they really need to work on. It’s obvious to a seasoned coach that they are likely only attending because a higher-up told them to.
At least that was my perception of Melissa. She said she’s had communication coaching before and couldn’t think of anything she needed to work on but maybe she’d pick up a few tips. As Melissa began delivering a scientific presentation she often gives to other medical experts, it was exceedingly difficult to follow her. She was speaking so fast that listeners, including me, were having a hard time processing what she was saying.
I am not a big fan of telling people to slow down. While they understand what that means, they typically slow down for thirty seconds and then speed back up. So, I told Melissa to pause. Like a book or this article that offers punctuation, speakers can punctuate with their voice.
Melissa disagreed. She says she knows she talks fast but told the group she has a lot to say and is never given enough time to say it. She said she needs to respect that her audience is comprised of extremely busy people, so she is being respectful of their time by cramming seven minutes of material into four minutes.
Whether presenting, speaking at a meeting or even having one-on-one conversations, if you are trying to get a message across and make sense of information for others, speaking too quickly can muddle your message because people tend to tune out. You might also come across as someone who is simply plowing through information to get it over with. Though Melissa wanted to respect her audience’s time, she inadvertently was doing the opposite. If her audience found her difficult to listen to, they might feel as if she was wasting their time. Additionally, people who speak too quickly are often perceived as nervous or anxious. That distracts attention and can make you look as if you are not in full command of your material.
Even though you are the only one speaking when presenting, it’s important to approach a presentation as a dialogue, not a monologue. When we pause and ask rhetorical questions like we do in conversations, it’s easier for listeners to process what is being said and the speaker will exhibit greater command and presence.
Melissa was skeptical. So, I suggested that she try presenting again, this time, applying my suggestions even if it felt awkward to her. Reluctantly, she said okay. The difference was significant. Her colleagues, who are well versed in her subject matter told her that they had been having a hard time understanding her too. However, when she presented again applying pauses, they felt she came across as more polished, confident and they said they had a better understanding of the data she was explaining.
Speaking too quickly is only part of the issue. Melissa and many others we work with simply go on too long whether they pause or not. In an age of shrinking attention spans, less really is more.
Here are my top four tips to slow yourself down and deliver material in a more polished confident manner.
PAUSE. PAUSE. PAUSE
When people who speak too fast are told to pause, they often feel uncomfortable with the silence. They tend to use fillers like and, just, so, you know, um and uh to manage that silence. As a former television news anchor, before sending a script to the teleprompter, I would put dark slash marks after words where I wanted to pause to slow it down or emphasize a key point.
TRIM THE FAT
Time yourself. If it takes you three minutes to say something, try saying it in two, then in one. Instead of telling audiences everything you know, think about what they really need to know. What would you care about if you were them? Cutting out the excess helps make messages crisper, clearer and easier to comprehend for those listening to you.
SPEAK SENTENCES DIFFERENTLY
To practice, pick a sentence to read from a printed publication. Each time you read it, pause in a different place. You will notice how the meaning of what you’re saying will change. As an example, ‘we have the ability to increase profits by 50% in Q4.” Then say ‘we have the ability to increase profits (pause) by 50% (pause) in Q4.
SIMPLIFY THE COMPLICATED
Sometimes what we are saying is contains a lot of information and can be difficult for people to process if you are speaking too quickly. You can try breaking the sentence into two sentences to make it easier to comprehend. You can also think of explaining things in numbers such as ‘there are three key pieces of information I want you to consider.’ Then explain them one at a time.
Remember, public speaking is different than having a conversation. When speaking in a meeting, on a panel, in a boardroom or anywhere there is an audience, this is considered public speaking. When speaking publicly, it’s important to adjust and slow your pace. That’s why the techniques above are so important. When you speak too quickly, your listeners may hear the words you said, but that doesn’t mean they heard your message.
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Quick Tip #111: Shining in the Hybrid Workplace
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When Secrets Threaten Friendships
The first thing she said when she called me was “you can’t tell anyone I told you this.” The secret was that a friend in our circle told her in confidence he is not vaccinated.
She was stunned and upset because he is a high-profile executive who spends several days a month traveling on planes to assorted locations where he interacts with many people. His wife, who is vaccinated, said he’s his own person and can make his own choices and didn’t seem to understand why it mattered if people around him were vaccinated.
In a recent Washington Post opinion piece Dr. Leana Wen, an emergency physician and visiting public health professor at George Washington University, and Sam Wang, a professor of neuroscience at Princeton University, compared being unvaccinated in public to drunken driving.
The professors wrote. “Consider the analogy: three out of every eight people killed are not the intoxicated driver, but their passengers or people in other vehicles. Similarly, with COVID-19, the risk is borne not only by the person making the decision but also by others who cross their path.”
Given the great vaccine divide, you may not agree with the analogy and I’m not writing to suggest who is right and who is wrong. Rather, because this particular person told our friend he isn’t vaccinated, he put her in an awkward position.
In a few weeks, she’s having a party and he’s invited. She believes everyone else attending is vaccinated and asked me if I thought it was still okay to have him over. I told her that is her call. She asked me what I would do if it was my house and without hesitation I said, I would not have him at my house and here’s why.
If other vaccinated guests knew he was not vaccinated, they may choose not to come. Some are immuno-compromised and don’t develop immunity even when vaccinated. Others, like me, have elderly parents, some in long term care settings who are more vulnerable even when vaccinated. Her friend could be completely asymptomatic but positive which means he can transmit the disease to others. Medical experts say because vaccines are not 100% effective, not only would he pose a great risk to unvaccinated people, but he would be a potential threat to those who are vaccinated as well.
Here’s the awkward part. He told her not to tell anyone, even though she told me and made me promise not to reveal his identity. If she blabs, she betrays his confidence and risks their friendship. At the same time, if those attending her party knew that she knew and didn’t tell them so they could decide for themselves whether to attend, they would be furious. If he happened to be asymptomatic and someone got sick after being around him, they would blame her. They would likely see it as a betrayal and her friendships with these people could end as well.
This situation reminds me of when I was a journalist covering the news. When a predicament surfaced, we always asked two questions:
- When did you know about it?
- What did you do about it?
If a company knew something was amiss and didn’t act swiftly, public perception usually turned against them. I believe the same four principles of crisis communication apply to many personal situations.
- Take care of victims or perceived victims. In the news business, reporters focus on what went wrong. If you knowingly put people in harms way, you are portrayed as someone who cares more about yourself than others around you and your reputation is damaged.
- Fix the problem. People want to know as soon as you knew something might be wrong, you jumped on it. If you didn’t, the negative publicity is relentless, and you may find yourself with bigger problems than the original problem.
- Tell the truth. Stonewalling, spinning the facts and trying to keep secrets only makes things worse. Explain what you did and why you did it. You might suffer in the short term, but when handled deliberately and thoughtfully, people will respect you.
- Communicate immediately. As soon as you are aware of an issue, communicate immediately. If you’re not talking, rumors and innuendo fill the gap and you lose control of the message.
Back to my friend. She’s very torn between betraying a secret and not sharing that secret information which could negatively impact her other friends. She called again and asked me if it was me, would I betray my friend’s secret? I told her that’s not for me to answer, but I did tell her this.
Imagine a best and worst case scenario. If your unvaccinated friend found out you blabbed, what would you say to him? If your guests found out you didn’t tell them and allow them to make their own decisions, how would you explain your actions to them? If one or both parties stopped talking to you, how would you feel?
I suggested that she consider uninviting him and telling him why. That way, she can keep his secret. Finally, I told her if she doesn’t want to do that, she can always take the easy way out and cancel the party.